Fortune of Misfortune(Nectar in a Sieve is a novel by Kamala Markandaya)Read and Think
Nectar in a Sieve is a first-person narrative told by Rukmani, the widow of a poor tenant farmer in India during the early 1950s. She begins her story with her marriage to Nathan. The marriage is arranged, and because Rukmani is the fourth daughter and there is very little dowry, her best match is to a poor rice farmer. She begins her life with him and finds him to be very kind and loving. He is so understanding that he is not threatened by her ability to read and write.
Soon, she gives birth to their first child, a daughter named Irawaddy ("Ira"). She is worried, however, when many years pass and no more children come. Just prior to her mother's death, Rukmani meets the man caring for her mother, a Western doctor named Kennington ("Kenny"). She talks to him about her inability to conceive, and he helps her. Rukmani never tells Nathan that the reason she gives birth to four sons in four years is because of Kenny's help. The family is very happy, despite having little food or money.
Years later, a tannery is built in the small village where Rukmani and her family live. While many villagers welcome it, Rukmani is resistant because of the changes it brings to the community. When her two oldest sons go to work in the tannery, she is forced to accept it.
Ira is now fourteen and old enough to marry. Rukmani has a matchmaker find a good husband, even though there is a small dowry. A favorable match is made, and Ira moves to the home of her husband.
Five years later, a terrible monsoon destroys Rukmani's home and rice paddy. For a long time, they survive on very little food. Unfortunately, Ira's husband returns her because she has failed to give him any children. Rukmani arranges for Kenny to provide infertility treatment for Ira, but Ira's husband has already taken another wife.
Rukmani gives birth to another child, a boy named Ruki. Ira nurtures him, and when lack of food threatens his life, Ira becomes a prostitute to earn money to feed him. Still, the child dies.
Meanwhile, Rukmani's sons have lost their jobs in the tannery and decide to answer a call for laborers on tea plantations on the island of Ceylon. Another of Rukmani's sons has taken a job far away as a servant.
When a drought hits, the family struggles once again. Rukmani and Nathan are forced to sell everything they have of value just to buy food for the family. When the rain finally comes, it is too late for that year's crop.
One of the neighbors' wives, Kunthi, arrives at Rukmani's house, demanding rice and threatening to tell Nathan about Rukmani's secret visits to Kenny. Afraid that Nathan will not understand that the visits were for Ira's infertility, Rukmani gives Kunthi some rice, even though it means that her own family will have too little. Rukmani learns that Kunthi also blackmails Nathan for rice, threatening to tell Rukmani that two of Kunthi's sons were fathered by Nathan.
One of Rukmani's sons is killed at the tannery for trying to steal a pelt to sell. Soon after, the paddies are finally harvested, and the family has money again. The youngest of Rukmani's sons, Selvam, breaks the news that he is not interested in a life of farming and has decided to accept a job with Kenny at the new hospital which is being built.
Ira becomes pregnant and gives birth to an albino child. Rukmani knows that, as hard as life would have been for Ira, it will be more difficult with an illegitimate child whose appearance frightens many of the villagers. Selvam loves the child and supports his sister.
The man who owns the land Nathan works informs them that he is selling the land to the tannery owner. Nathan is almost fifty years old and knows no other life but farming. Having few choices, Rukmani and Nathan decide to go find their son Murugan (who is a servant far away) and live with him and his wife.
Part Two
Rukmani and Nathan take the hundred-mile journey to find Murugan. When they arrive, they find that he changed jobs two years previously. When they go to find him, they meet his wife. She tells them that he has abandoned her, and now she must work as a housekeeper to support herself and her children. Rukmani and Nathan have no place to stay, and their possessions and money have been stolen, so they go to the temple where beggars are fed once every day and given a place to sleep. They meet a boy named Puli, who is a streetwise orphan. He shows them where they can break stones for money, and they eventually save enough to return home. Unfortunately, Nathan collapses before they leave and dies.
Rukmani returns to her village, bringing Puli with her, and stays with Selvam and Ira. She is exhausted upon arrival and simply tells them that Nathan died peacefully.
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Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua?
Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, “Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”
Shaadi ke doosre din beti apni maa se: Meri unse ladai ho gayi!
Maa: Shadi mein jhagde toh hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.
Beti: Woh toh thik hai par ab “LAASH” ka kya karu?
Santa: Ek makan mein aag lagi thi, aur andar kuch log thay, maine window tori aur andar ja kar sab logon ko bahar nikal diya.
Banta: Toh logon ne kyun mara
Santa: Yaar, kyun ke woh sab log fire fighter thay!
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Chhote: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Bade: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Chhote: Kya naam hai uska?
Bade: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”
Customer: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.
Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.
Customer: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.
Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.
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Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.
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Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, “Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”
Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
beggar.jpg
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!
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How to say I Love You in 100 Languages......
English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma-koo-too-----nu) -- Thx Tony
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema
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Funny Interview.......
OFFICER: what is your name?
CANDIDATE: M P. sir
OFFICER : tell me properly
CANDIDATE : Mohan Pal Sir
OFFICER : YOUR FA THE R'S NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?
CANDIDATE : MATRIC PASS
OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR
OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR
OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE. ...?
OFFICER : MP !!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..?
OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED... ......... .....!!!! !!!!!!!!!
A Chinese Call center:
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak
to me. Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But
what's this urgent matter
about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe
Wan was involved in an accident..
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on
his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn't
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time
for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree ..
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ...
Caller: Oh .....God.... ...
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haste raho ..... ;)
स्टेशन पे एक कुली से बाहर जाने का रास्ता पूंछा .
कुली ने कहा: " बाहर जाके पूंछो ."
मैंने ख़ुद ही
रास्ता ढूंढ़ लिया ,
बाहर जाके टैक्सी वाले से पूंछा :
" भाई साहब लाल किले का कितना लोगे ?"
जवाब मिला: " बेचना नही है ."
टैक्सी छोड़ , मैंने बस पकड़ ली ,
कंडक्टर से पूंछा: "जी , क्या मैं सिगरेट पी सकता हूँ ?"
वो गुर्र्रा कर बोला : "हरगिज़ नही , यहाँ सिगरेट पीना मन है."
मैंने कहा: "पर वो जनाब तो पी रहे है!"
फिर से गुर्र्र्राया : "उसने मुझसे पूंछा नही है."
लाल किले पंहुचा , होटल गया .
मेनेजर से कहा: "मुझे रूम चाहिए , सातवी मंजिल पे ."
मेनेजर ने कहा: "रहने के लिए या कूदने के लिए ?"
रूम पंहुचा , वेटर से कहा:
" एक पानी का गिलास मिलेगा ?"
उसने जवाब दिया: "नही साहब , यहाँ तो सारे कांच के मिलते हैं."
होटल से निकला , दोस्त के घर जाने के लिए ,
रास्ते में एक साहब से पूंछा:
" जनाब , ये सड़क कहाँ को जाती है ?"
जनाब हंस कर बोले: "पिछले बीस साल से देख रहा हूँ , यही पड़ी है... कहीं नहीं जाती."
